Punchy

Today was probably the first time I thought to myself, "sometimes, I can't believe what I put myself through for this blog." From the blisters on my feet (I really need to break in my new Rainbows the right way) to the (hopefully short lived) sunburn on my face/back/shoulders/chest, this ladies and gentleman, is for you.

You know Ted's kinda annoying but has a good heart best friend from high school? Well, I went to the zoo with him today. And it started out so promising:

Today is one of those days that I'm going to add to the list of qualities my potential mate must have. Like being able to read a map. If you try and use a map, PLEASE KNOW HOW TO USE IT. If I have to grab that fucker out of your hands to maneuver us away from the 560 bajillion bird exhibits and onto some cooler fucking animals, there's a good chance you're NEVER going to get into my pants. And I'm not giving the map back, either.

I think the point of no return came about an hour into the zoo excursion. In the middle of listening to a story, he looks over and yells, "ooh! A honey badger, I love honey badgers" and then literally JOGGED over to say hi to the honey badgers. When I finally caught up (I may or may not have almost been hit by a double-decker bus while trying to follow him) he said, "sorry, I just love honey badgers. Now what were you saying?"

And you know what he loved more than the honey badger? The dik dik. And then I had to hear dik dik stories the rest of the day. Out of ALL of the exhibits in the entire zoo, if he were to have to live in one, he'd chose the flamingo lawn. Seriously? It's just a square of grass and some dirty water. Why wouldn't you chose something more fun? Have an imagination or something, why don't ya? Oh, that's right, because his favorite animal is the honey badger... and we definitely had to stop by and say "bye" to him before we left.