Flashback Friday: Zebra Cooch

With my favorite waxist of all times leaving me for a boy in Santa Barbara, I’m back to finding a new one.  Which is really unfortunate considering she has seen my vagina more often than anyone else in San Diego.  Seriously. 

 

Every four weeks for almost a year and a half now… not to mention the first time we were together in Sacramento!

 

When she first left me in Sacramento, I had the MOST HORRIBLE waxing experience of my entire life.  She did apply pressure after removing the wax strip, and when I got home, I realized she didn’t even remove all of the wax.  Though, I didn’t realize it until I had to pee, pulled my pants down, and felt a ripping sensation. 

 

I looked in the mirror and realized my vagina looked like it had blue zebra stripes on it from all the wax that was still stuck to me. 

But even that is better than trying to do it yourself.

 

 

Satisfying My Inner Tween

My 13 year old self is bursting at the seams. 

 

 

It’s funny how much my taste in men has changed over the years- I used to LOVE me some Nick Carter.  But last night, I realized I’m more of a Kevin and AJ kinda girl.  (Don’t get me wrong, Nick’s still got it- I just like ‘em darker these days!)

 

 

At one point, Kevin was standing on the stage directly in front of me, making eye contact with me, and singing.  TO ME. 

And then all of a sudden my panties were on stage. 

Not kidding, if you get a chance to see Backstreet Boys in concert- DO IT. 

 

Wedding Fever

I’ve always heard that weddings are the perfect place to pick up guys, but I had no idea how true this actually was.  (Probably because I’ve always gone to weddings with boyfriends before.)

My cousin got married this past weekend and I had multiple people come up to me and tell me that all the single guys there were “on the prowl.”

 

I was cornered by one guy (who I’m assuming was the wingman) to take a picture with another guy… who then sat there and tried to have a conversation with me (in broken English, mind you) for the next 25 minutes.  While my friends sat across the room at a table all waving to me. 

Luckily, a group of his friends walked in and I was eventually able to sneak away. 

 

 

At the end of the night, Bubba (my cousin tried to set us up a while ago, but nothing came of it outside of following each other on social media) came up to me and gave me a hug and said hi.  We actually ended up hanging out the following night, but again, nothing came of that either. 

 

Anyway, have another one in a few weeks, so we'll see how that goes!

 

 

 

Bachelorette Success

Apparently, the key to standing out in a bar for a bachelorette party is not matching shirts.  It’s not light up necklaces or even large penises everywhere.  It’s carrying around a picture frame. 

 

Everyone LOVES taking pictures when they’re drunk- and having a picture frame makes it even more appropriate.  We had people lining up to take pictures with us… definitely the biggest hit of the night. 

 

Always Stay Late!

If there is one thing I’ve learned- when it comes to work functions, ALWAYS stay until the end.  I don’t care how boring it is, if everyone else wants to leave early- ALWAYS be one of the last people to leave.  Especially when there’s alcohol involved.

 

 

I got drunk with me CEO and COO this weekend.  We had a work dinner, and while everyone else was packing up their shit and getting ready to jet out the door at the first opportunity, I was sitting back, enjoying my wine, and preparing for the show.  After everyone jetted, Persephone and I scouted and found the CEO and went over to say hi to him.  Within five seconds he and one of the other directors invited us to the lobby bar for drinks.  Lots of drinks.  At first there were just a few of us… and then more and more people kept meeting us down there.  Senior VPs, Board members, Directors, and eventually, the CEO.  Everyone just hanging out, chit chatting, and buying round after round. 

And when people get drunk, you learn things about them.  Things they wouldn’t tell you if they were sober.  Things you wouldn’t know if you had left early.

 

 

ALWAYS stay until the end.  Especially if there is alcohol involved.