Muhammad Ali

Ali is not what I'd normally go for, for starters, he's brown. Like, from head to toe. He's smart, he's witty, he makes me laugh, and he has this stupid sly smile that makes my knees go weak. He's in his last semester of law school, exactly one week younger than me, and he's brown. (This is a big deal, I promise.)

I met Ali at the bar. He was holding down the pool table and absolutely annihalating the guy who kept trying to beat him.  Ali introduced me to Douchebag McGee and I automatically just assumed they were friends or roomates or something since they seemed to know each other pretty well. While Ali was running the table, DB McGee would come over and make small talk. He tried to talk to me about the Padres (I was wearing a Padres tee and he was wearing a Padres hat)
"How was opening day?"
"Ummm, it sucked..."
"Oh. Did you go?"
"No. It was in New York... they don't play at home until next week."
"Oh, I don't watch baseball at all. Are you going?"
"Yes. With Ali."
"Oh, that's cool. So, can I see your boobs?"

And then it got weird. DB McGee started rubbing my back, trying to kiss my cheek, and flirting with me in front of Ali. And he was just rolling his eyes and laughing about it. Again, I thought they knew each other; I figured it was his roommate trying to make him jealous or a friend just giving him a hard time.

After winning four games of pool in my presence, Ali asked if I wanted to play darts instead. Unfortunately, DB McGee wasn't done losing and kept putting quarters in for more games. (Ali did inform me later that he didn't mind because he was enjoying showing off for me.)

At the end of the night, after I said good-bye to Ali and got into my car, DB McGee grabbed my door and asked where I was going.
"home."
"Well come home with me instead."
"Umm, no thanks."
"My roommate has an 8-ball of coke."
"Cool. Still going home. Alone. Please shut the door, thanks."

When I got home, Ali informed me that he did NOT know DB McGee. And that he saw him trying to go home with me. And laughed some more.