These people have pretty much consumed my life since we've been thrown together... and soon I'll throw together some of the stories.
But first:
I went to a wet underwear contest at a gay bar last night. (Hence the queen voice in the first place.)
I watched a fellow ball kicker hook up with a legit butter face...in the women's bathroom of the gay bar. (We also applauded them as they walked back up to the table.)
- Funny side story: after receiving their praise, she said, "whatever we were thinking was a bad idea. That was a bad idea." She then looked at him and said, "I'm sorry." He put his arm over her shoulder and said, "it's ok." WHAT could have happened to warrant a "sorry" on her end?!
Bathroom Boner was supposed to do the contest as well, but ultimately chickened out and then ducked out when we were getting food. (Dick head.) Sofia and I stayed. And boy am I happy we did.
Not only did I get to see an extremely intoxicated gay grandfather get into the shower and dance around all hot and bothered while eye fucking his boyfriend across the room... I got to watch an angry MMA fighter cup and gyrate his dripping balls (luckily still covered...the grandpa almost let his shit out) and a dorky country boy do the splits. THRICE.
And then, I got to watch the sexiest STRAIGHT man I have ever seen in my life get up there and shake his wet, mostly naked thang on the stage.
HOLY. HELL.
I also got asked the most terrifying would you rather question of my entire life:
Would you rather watch your parents have sex everyday for a year
or
Join in on them just once to make it stop.
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