More Messages!

Seriously, hilarious messages come in on the daily.

 

 I asked this guy how many times he copied and pasted this message.

He claims I'm the first.

 

 I'm not sure why being hot makes this guy sad.

So sad, in fact that it brings his emojis to tears.

I also never tried to find out.

 

 

A gem from Marina:

He's definitely a smart cookie.

Speaking of smart cookies:

I replied with "my sexy what?" which, was a lot nicer than the first two answers I came up with.

Match Me Up, Matchmaker!

So, I think the hardest part of this whole online dating thing is reading through and responding to some of the most ridiculous emails I have ever received in my entire life.  Take a gander:

I realize this one isn't that bad.  However, "How are you" is normally a question, not a statement. 

And obviously this person is an idiot because I'm no where near a nice person.  

Firstly, DO NOT call me babygirl.  And what the fuck is a stank face? I would almost be offended, but that would require me caring.  (And I don't do that.)

And ladies and gentleman, my favorite:

Skin patches?  Really?  That's what you decided to go with?

At least he used the correct form of "you're" that earns him a point.  

But that point is not enough to warrant a response.  

And for the record, they're freckles, not skin patches.  

Hey, Girlfriend!

I realized this past weekend that I am no longer one of the guys.

I have a solid, amazing group of girlfriends.  Each one of them brings so many things to the table and I would not love every moment of my life if it weren't for them.  I have, for the first time in my life, gone two and a half full months of not even talking to a guy.  You know, the kind you just keep around for entertainment and attention, but you actually would never date... I haven't even had one of THOSE in two and a half months.

Instead I fill my time hanging out with the girls.  Going dancing.  Riding bikes around PB while barhopping.  Who knew having girlfriends could be so much fun?

That being said, there are still some things I have to get used to.  When you hang out with guys you don't really have to talk about feelings... or answer difficult questions like, "which of our friends do you like the best?" or "what did you guys talk about? Did they say anything about me?" This is all chartered territory for me, duders.

Anyway, two of these bitches somehow inadvertently talked me into joining a dating website.  They are both serial online daters (seriously, everyone is doing it.  I had NO idea!) and always have different stories to tell about the newest date.  So, I figured, why not? I want stories to tell!  I LOVE girl time! #thingsIneverthoughIwouldsay  And my dumbass goes and signs up for the one you have to pay for.  FUCK.  But at least we know I'm committed.

Stories to follow.