#WorstDateEver

I’ve been on a lot of first dates since moving to San Diego, but I’m pretty sure this one takes the cake. 

We’d been corresponding for about a week on Facebook… and he was kind of weird.  But I seriously was chalking it up to not being able to read a person’s emotions in writing… some things just get lost in translation. 

Well, turns out, should have trusted my gut on this one, dude was fuckin’ weird. 

So let’s go over the few things I knew about him before we went out:

· He’s been in San Diego for about seven months. 

· He “lives” in Little Italy (we’ll get into the quotation marks later) 

· He volunteers at a Christian Church most Mondays, and other days when he has time. 

· He describes himself as a wonderer- he loves just hanging out at coffee shops and on street corners just talking to people.  

· He hates Christians. And the military. And anything remotely right winged.

And then we went out.  First of all, he looked like a borderline homeless man.  Not kidding.  He single handedly mythbusted the idea that men are more attractive with beards.  He also was wearing the exact same thing he is wearing in every single picture he has on Facebook (a beanie and a red plaid button up). 

This is pretty much what he looked like.

He had me meet him at a coffee shop.  That was closed… so that was… weird… to begin with. 

We started walking toward the beach, and I’m not sure what he did, if he tripped, stumbled or what, but he grabbed onto my purse.  Twice.  And stuck his hand in it.  Twice.  (Gentleman: do not touch a woman’s purse. )

 

He tells me on the way that he spends all day talking to random people but, for some reason, just couldn’t think of anything to say to me… and then decided to make jokes about kidnapping and raping me.  AND THEN made the comment “this is just getting more and more sketchy the further from civilization we walk, isn’t it?” (we were walking towards the beach.)  WHAT?!  WHO SAYS THAT?!

 

 

On the way back from the beach, he took food from a homeless man who addressed him by name and then asked if he had a place to stay that night… (mental note that he “lives” in Little Italy).  We walked to his truck where he had a duffel bag in the bed and he said, “Everything I own is in this truck.”  (So you live in your truck in Little Italy?)

 

If I wasn’t ready to get the fuck out of dodge at this point, as we’re sitting and talking he tells me that all Christians are horrible people and he can’t wait until they don’t exist anymore- even if that means of extinction is genocide. 

Seriously.  He said that. 

Now, I realize that I’m an atheist, but so many of my good friends are Christians.  I don’t want them dead just because they believe in an imaginary man in the sky!  So we argued over that for a solid 20 minutes  before he finally says, “I’m surprised you disagree with me on this point.”

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM, HITLER!

 

He then proceeded to tell me that I was uninteresting, a bad conversationalist, flat, and void of any emotion. 

When I finally got back to my car, he told me I was very uncomfortable to be around and not fun.  I just looked at him with a fake smile and said, “welp, have a good night.  Be careful, out there, there are a lot of crazies!"