Baby Fever

There’s a reason I work at Planned Parenthood: I hate babies. 

Babies are like these weird alien things that, no matter how new or hideous they are, make everyone around them turn into cooing creatures who think they’re adorable.  

 

 

 

 

And now everyone in my family is popping them out. 

My sister should be popping out her second any day now. 

My step-brother called me on Saturday to tell me that he impregnated his 40+ year old girlfriend and they’re expecting a baby in March… his first.  Her fifth. 

And yesterday, I got the dreaded call from little brother saying he knocked up his stupid girlfriend.  No seriously, she’s stupid (they both are)… no form of birth control at all.  And they can’t even pay all their own bills now, with just the two of them.  

Congratulations, Mom.  Looks like you’ll be raising another kid. 

And to that- I’ll drink.

Because I still can.