- female
- mostly white
- single
- never married
- no kids
- college educated
- liberal
- atheist
I will probably make a lot of Jesus jokes. I will reference Harry Potter and How I Met Your Mother more than you would think possible (so if you haven't read the books or seen the show, you should probably do yourself a solid and check those out now).
For the most part, I am a normal girl: I love shopping, getting my nails done, I cry at stupid romantic comedies, and go crazy and partially lose my mind every four weeks, I have long hair (that I often color), wear make up (applied only after sandwiches and sans pants), and I have a vagina. However, I also love sports, drinking whiskey, and going out with the boys. I'm just as comfortable tossing a football around with the guys as I am sitting around and sipping wine with the girls.
Sweet baby Jesus blessed me with a huge rack, decent looks, and brains so it's never been difficult to find someone interested in me. Here's my major malfunction: boys fall in love with me. And it's almost always unrequited. (There is a trick, but we'll get into that later.) I always try and warn them, and I'm always up front with them from the beginning...but it doesn't always work (actually, I'm not sure it's EVER worked). My cousins attribute it to being part Veela (if you were savvy with the HP knowledge you wouldn't have had to look up that word), I am not sure what it is... but it never fails.
This is me, Karsen Caulfield, a habitual heartbreaker. Charging into my late twenties single, in a new city, with the whole world at my fingertips. I have a foul mouth and a dirty mind and no matter what I do, there is always a hilarious story that ensues. This is my effort to share those stories with you.
*all names and distinguishing characteristics have been changed to protect the guilty*
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