Move over, Jessica Biel!

A typical afternoon in the life of Karsen includes a trip to the beach to watch the sunset and enjoy a sandwich  Usually, I get yelled at from random males in cars, "hey beautiful, want company?" Nope. "Lookin' good" uh, thanks or, my personal favorite, "Hi, I'm Jake, you want to hook up?"
No Jake, I do not. If you are that easy, I can just imagine what kind of yellow, stench-filled secretions are ooozing from the pustules on your dick; thanks, but I'll pass!

Today was a hassle free day. I was enjoying the sights and sounds when, out of nowhere, I had two paws around my neck and a puppy growl in my ear.  I had been playfully attacked by the cutest Boxer puppy I had ever seen in my entire life.

What do I love more than sunsets? Puppies. Puppies at sunset are only enhanced by one thing, and as soon as I looked up to see if I was going to see my future exboyfriend, he ran up, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, are you ok?"

As I stared into his sparkling blue eyes for a second I racked my brain for something clever to say. Unfortunately, all I could think was "Fuck. I should have listened to grandma and done something with my hair today"
So, naturally, I said the fist thing that came to my mind, "I've never been mounted from the rear like that before."(twss)
REALLY, KARSEN? That's what you go with? Jesus fuck, no wonder you're single.
"I mean, yeah. I'm fine. He just scared me, that's all."
c'mon Karsen, say something witty. Impress him, bat your eye lashes, DO SOMETHING!

"I'm glad you're ok! I don't think he realizes how big he is. We try and bring him out here as much as possible to play..."
damn it. He's here with somebody
"...somewhere... there he is!" My future exboyfriend dropped to unavailable and then to uninterested in record time as I realized he was waving to his boyfriend.

"I'm so sorry! Are you ok?" I smiled and nodded while FXBF chimed in, "Poor girl was sitting here minding her own business when JT came out of no where and got her from behind!"

FXBF's boyfriend turned to scold the dog, "Justin Timberlake Andrson, you go say sorry" and pointed his finger at me.

I looked up instantly wide-eyed, "You named your dog Justin Timberlake?"

"Yep! Who wouldn't want to sleep with Justin Timberlake every night?"

Just then JT crawled up to my feet whimpering.  I bent down to scratch his ears, "Awww, it's ok boy you're cute enough to be able to jump on me whenever you want." I turned to the guys, "Well, it was a pleasure getting aquainted with you two; thanks for letting Justin Timberlake have his way with me."

Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight, I was humped by Justin Timberlake. 

Well, at least it sounds like a good story.

(Editor's note: My friends and I play this game- anytime you throw out "that's what she said" you have to follow it with a color.  The last person to throw out a color (no repeats!) has to moan like the opposite sex.  Those (twss) that you see are me calling them out and the color)